The stages of writing an essay

Analysing Chaohua’s first draft

  1. Analysing the title
  2. Collecting all the ideas you have
  3. Drawing a diagram to show which ideas and evidence to use
  4. Writing your plan
  5. Writing your first draft (first try)
  6. Analysing the first draft
  7. Feedback on your first draft
  8. Feed back on the use of language
  9. Writing final draft

 

The main purpose of the feedback after your first draft is to see if another reader (other than yourself) can understand the ideas in your essay.

Remember that as a writer, you need to be sure that your ideas are linked together in a logical way, and that other people can follow what you are trying to say. If your organisation is good, then other readers should be able to follow your ideas, even if your language is not completely accurate. Following the feedback, you may want to change some of the sections in your essay.

Look at the feedback sheet below on organisation and ideas. Re-read Chaohua’s essay, and complete the feedback sheet, which is available in a range of formats at the bottom of the page. You can add comments under each question.

You may notice that Chaohua has made some language mistakes. However, you should not worry about these at this stage. You are just looking at her organisation and ideas.


Feedback Sheet on organisation and ideas

 

Write the title here:

Introduction

  • Is there some general background to the title being answered? YES/NO
  • Is there a thesis statement which says what the purpose of the essay is? YES/NO

1st paragraph

  • Is there a paragraph leader for this paragraph? YES/NO
  • Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge? YES/NO

2nd paragraph

  • Is there a paragraph leader to this paragraph? YES/NO
  • Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge? YES/NO

3rd paragraph

  • Is there a paragraph leader to this paragraph? YES/NO
  • Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge? YES/NO

Conclusion

  • Does the conclusion sum up the body paragraphs?
  • Does it end with a prediction or some advice for the future?

Summary

What suggestions do you have for improving this essay?

You can share your suggestions for improvements in the comments.

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